When asked why I was going there I couldn’t come up with the real truth of the matter. I didn’t want to land on the obvious default reasoning; cultural experience, a step out, learning a new language, using my time to serve God. Of course, all of these played a role but as for why exactly I going, I wasn’t quite sure. All I knew was that I wanted movement and no calm course of living, and it fell together perfectly, I knew I would and had to do it, and there were no questions to be asked about it. Somehow I knew I would end up here, which was quite contrary to my feeling regarding where I ended up in 2006-07, scaling the city of Nairobi, Kenya, East Africa. It’s crazy to see the fulfillment of something like that in your life…
A porcelain face, eyes blazing with energy
She kneads the claw marks on her back
(she’s gracefully irresistible)
Her mind is a labyrinth of mystery,
When she looks in the mirror she does not see herself.
Her blonde hair shuffles in a crystalline breeze
She has lived with this long enough
Every night it’s been the same
The clamor more horrendous, the murmurs louder
Whispers whisking across her face as she tries to sleep
The angel girl is an aura of perfection
“She’s mad at me,” she repeats
“Because I won’t do what she says.”
The creaking doesn’t startle her, nor does the chilling presence
The one that sits at the end of her bed.
Seemed like a vast open door that I’d fallen severely enamored with. As fantastic as it was, wrapped up in all its royal graciousness, it was a righteous hearts hope and nothing more.
“I think I would be extremely happy to know that I’m yours,” you had said.
You were a hope glistening on the infinite scope and I, as always, was so caught up in the magnificence of it, seeing only that…
The Vision started simple, perfect as you will, but later treacherously ravaging my imagination, frolicking wildly over the open expanses like a false enchantment under the muse of romance.
Foolishly I focused all my optimism on The Vision because nothing seemed more dignified than what it showed me.