The Will

I’ve never been one to want something enough to force destiny to bend to my will. I’ve never wanted to power through and command my way and fight tooth and nail until I got it. I’ve never cared to have it exactly ‘my way’ despite loving when Frank Sinatra sang it. Rather, I’ve always figured that God, destiny knew me better than I knew myself; that if I trusted The Author to lead me I’d be led right, that I didn’t need ‘my way’ if it meant perhaps there was a better way I didn’t see or even know I wanted.

I’ve seen it proven time and time again, but maybe I’ve also forgotten that I too, have power. That God, destiny entrusted me to make bold decisions, to have courage and faith and confidence and to go forward and let the chips fall where they may and let God, destiny take it from there.

Perhaps I’ve grown too complacent, even fearful to power through and ever fight for what I want. My worry overtakes me, my lack of confidence subdues me, I stay stagnant instead of moving forward, I wait around for destiny instead of sucking up the courage taking the leap, casting off the bowlines, taking the plunge and giving destiny a little push.

Honestly, that’s probably what God, destiny want to see from me, anyway.

But will it?

(originally written on paper in a journal days before my trip to Russia)