Or what’s a Heaven for?
Living a life of comfort is just not for me, I want adventure. Ready to settle down? Not a chance! I’m too free spirited, too inquisitive and curious. My heart pounds for expedition and new experience! Everyone knows that I can’t stay put geographically for too long and I’m feeling another move, an uprooting, a new setting, a new routine, a new adventure and a new pace. I’m craving for it, yearning for it, and I know it’s going to happen…
I always say the greatest thing I ever did was go away to college. Not that Kentucky is anything to brag about, in fact, I didn’t like the state much at all, but aspects of it grew on me and I appreciated it after awhile. I enjoyed having my own dorm room with my best friends living next to and across from me. I loved being able to explore on the weekends to places like Nashville, Cincinnati, Louisville, Chicago, Indianapolis, Huntington and other parts of God-forsaken West Virginia or just hanging out at the River House, caving and having bonfires or dinner parties in Ashland, Kentucky at Mark and Randee’s Sky Lounge.
In the beginning I was thrown into a new place where I didn’t know anyone at all, yet it felt totally right to not be at home, to be somewhere else, and literally within days I had found some of the best friends I could have ever asked for. I took a step out and God immediately came to my side and blessed me, giving me exactly the right friends which made Kentucky not only bearable, but a place I was excited to go back to.. (not for the state) but for the friends.
It was there I learned to live completely on my own, budget myself, explore new territory, memorize new roads (which comes quickly to me) It wasn’t long before I knew all of Lexington… and Louisville.. Cincinnati.. Nashville… People who were from these places were going to me for directions!?! It was because I went away to college that I had the opportunity to go to Spain, twice! And London and Paris on Spring break with my friends. Every weekend was an adventure, and Jacob and I would plan epic trips (that he paid for of course).
I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have stayed home. Where would I be today if I hadn’t stepped out into the unknown, completely vulnerable, clinging to trying to trust God? This is why I feel like it is not only appropriate but even vital to step out into the unknown, clutching to trying to trust God, because look at the beautiful amazing things that come from it? I don’t condemn anyone who stayed home, but for someone with my personality it was out of the question, and I couldn’t be more glad because of it.
Though by the time my senior year rolled around I knew that I was feeling called to do something different, to relocate and experience something totally new. I wanted to advance in journalism and had promised myself I would do a Best Semester before I graduated. So, flush with a new stroke of enthusiasm I set off for Washington DC to spend my final college semester. This was much closer to home, but a totally new experience, meeting so many new people, from new best friends to interviewing high profiles one on one in “Senators Only” elevators inside the Capitol Building. DC was a place I already knew, had been to countless times, had the Metro memorized, but for that semester DC was all new to me because I saw it from an insiders perspective. But you can read more about that here if you want…
I fell in love with Washington and its fast pace, but it was also all-consuming, and there were certain days I wanted to set politics aside. When I would occasionally come home on random weekends it was awesome to reunite with friends, but it also made me so glad that I had stepped out elsewhere. When summer came I was glad to be back at the Jersey Shore working for my favorite magazine in all the world as well as freelancing for others and writing some news releases for Morey’s Piers. There’s something so distinctive about being at the shore, I can’t express how much I love it here, and not for the typical Delco teenager reasons. Reasons the later probably wouldn’t really understand or notice unfortunately. I could walk the coast at evening and take hundreds of instagram pictures of the same things yet it’s new every time. There’s nothing like being able to claim a place as your own, to know it inside out. Philadelphia is of course one of those places, my home, but Wildwood is home too, in a different way that’s hard to describe.
But now I feel that inkling again.. at first a soft whisper that turns into a clear nudging and begins to press hard against my psyche saying it’s again time for a much needed new chapter. I’m not sure where but I wouldn’t have this persistent impending desire if it wasn’t mean to be fulfilled. That I am confident of. Sometimes God has to bring you to a deeply uncertain place in life where all you can do is depend on him. And that is a good thing. Trusting is not easy, but never once in my entire life has God ever left me hanging. Even when there didn’t seem to be any direction or next step, a door was always opened and provided for, even if it was at the very last second. So why should I not expect great and mighty things even in the midst of my life’s greatest uncertainty?
Hurry with your answer, God!
I’m nearly at the end of my rope.
Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me!
That would be certain death.
If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I’ll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I’m all ears, all eyes before you.
Save me from my enemies, God—
you’re my only hope!
Teach me how to live to please you,
because you’re my God.
Lead me by your blessed Spirit
into cleared and level pastureland.