I clattered the customary three cups onto the counter before remembering the need for the fourth. I held the smooth china, round, white and familiar, then placed it in front of the smiling foreign yet somehow familiar face. New hands ate with the old silverware that night, at least from my limited perspective. It’s not like I had any idea who he was at the time, but I could see tears welled up in his incredibly weathered eyes, each wrinkled with little crow’s feet in the corners. The dark circles revealed leaky blood vessels and thinning skin. He was clearly exhausted. Mother acted unusual as she walked from one end of the table to the other, placing warm cloths beside the dishes. Her head was downcast and her lips pursed as if she was holding back a secret. Surely this wasn’t our usual Seader meal.
When asked why I was going there I couldn’t come up with the real truth of the matter. I didn’t want to land on the obvious default reasoning; cultural experience, a step out, learning a new language, using my time to serve God. Of course, all of these played a role but as for why exactly I going, I wasn’t quite sure. All I knew was that I wanted movement and no calm course of living, and it fell together perfectly, I knew I would and had to do it, and there were no questions to be asked about it. Somehow I knew I would end up here, which was quite contrary to my feeling regarding where I ended up in 2006-07, scaling the city of Nairobi, Kenya, East Africa. It’s crazy to see the fulfillment of something like that in your life…
I want to be molded into the man you want me to be for my future wife. I want to be worthy of her waiting and affection. I want my relationship with You to draw her toward me, and our relationship draw from and point toward You. Jesus, something has come over me, and I know it’s going to be hard but it’s time to wipe the slate clean today, to rise up out of this griminess that’s been holding me down and take hold of all You have for me. Today is the day that I start believing that everything I ever wanted is on its way, maybe not, surely not in the way I expect, but definitely on it’s way. You have already set these plans into motion, today The Vision is renewed, better than ever before.